Suri's Burn Book

Yesterday, my friend Doro changed my life by sending me the link to Suri's Burn Book.  Many of you are aware of my long-standing obsession with celebritot Suri Cruise . . . and now it's reached a whole new level.

Suri's Burn Book is a tumblr account in which Suri posts pictures of celebs & their kids and comments on them.  And makes fun of her parents, Tom and Katie.  And OMFG is she hilarious.  Exempli gratia:

August 18, 2011

While we’re on the subject of famous Swedes, here is a photo of Elin Nordegren and her two children, Sam and Charlie. This family has become kind of reclusive post-Tiger, but they were recently seen out and about in Miami.

I am disappointed that Sam and I missed each other on our Miami vacations, because I completely approve of her fashion choices—from that fun headband to that slimming belt!—and would have loved to have her over for tea. We also would have a lot to talk about, like having embarrassing fathers and the challenges of having moms who wear denim.

Filed under sam woods charlie woods elin nordegren

HAHA!  Embarrassing fathers and the challenges of having moms who wear denim!!!  Suffice to say I spent quite a bit of time yesterday browsing Suri's files, and will continue to do so via her tumblr and twitter.  I suggest you do the same.

Happy Friday!

Catching my Eye(s) of Late

When I have something BIG looming over my head, I become the most easily distracted person in the world.  Suddenly, idiotic tv shows become appealing (ha, what am I talking about, "suddenly"), tasks around the house present themselves, and I even remember that I'm past due for an oil change (um, and my student loans).  It's remarkable.  And although I turned in my mammoth manuscript on Monday, here are some things that are (still) keeping me distracted lately:

from

WTF.  Do y'all know that my girl is gonna be FIVE next month?  And she's suckin' on a paci?  What's up with infantilizing kindergartners?  I wonder if she'll need her pacifier during her first book report.  Or before prom, just to calm her down.  Or to ease her pre-wedding jitters.  Gosh.

1. Tiny bow gold filled wire wrap ring

2. Bright blue Fleur de lis flour sack towel

3. fight the good fight print

4. There is no prison here original art

As I mentioned, I'm participating in the lovely Jessie's etsy swap!  I'm excited to be paired with the sweet Meredith from Thank You Ma'am.  And while I should be focusing on her favorite etsy pics, I can't but gaze at my own faves . . . four of which are these. :)  What are your favorite etsy finds these days?

My dear friends, the B's, are on an adoption quest, as you may well know.  And Summer's sweet friend KLaw has created this print to raise money for the (very costly) adoption.  Click here to buy the print and support the B's!

from/from

This really happened: On Monday night, as I was driving the short distance from the H-Unit to the East Gate of San Quentin (pictured above) after my (spectacular) poetry class, I almost ran over a deer.  That's right: a darlin' lil Bambi was prancing around the grounds of one of the most famous prisons in America.  I guess God likes to be funny sometimes?  While I appreciated the cosmic irony of this bizarre occurrence, I also thanked my lucky stars that I didn't run over the dang thing.  Not only cause hitting a deer would be emotionally traumatic, but . . . can you imagine a worse place to be stranded with a totaled car?

Annnnnnnnd my Micaela is having a giveaway!  Click here to win this sweet (and special) "Micaela" headband, created by the lovely & talented Gracienne. 

So, was this post long enough to make up for my absence the past two days?  Ha.  Hope you made it through! ;)

Kids Growin' Up Too Fast

And no, I'm not talking about teen pregnancy.  But speaking of which, we might have to talk about Teen Mom 2 soon.  I never thought I'd fall quite that low in my television habits, but it turns out working 60 hours a week makes you want to come home and do all kinds of crazy things (drink 40's of Blue Moon, watch Teen Mom 2, spend your remaining hours in a snuggie).  None of my friends are classless enough to watch Teen Mom 2, so I might need to call on some of you to discuss some things with (Jenelle is a monster beyotch who raises my blood pressure, Kailyn's baby is fugly, and please let baby Ali be okay!).


In any case, today is a very special day.  It is the first birthday of my favorite little person:

sweet Judebug

I know it's a little blurry, but it's the cutest picture ever so it's the one I had to share.  Jude Freitag is the most shining example of humankind.  He's cuddly, handsome, he never cries, and well, he's pretty much the dreamiest guy around.  I can't wait to celebrate with him!  And I'm also in denial that he is a whole year old.  Geez Louise.

And speaking of kids growing up too fast, check out this pic that Marianne sent me of my favorite celebritot:

Oh Suri and your pink Uggs.  

Please tell me that's hot chocolate in your Starbucks cup!

My love for Suri Cruise might be unexplainable, but it's steadfast.  Look at my girl gettin' all big!  Before we know it, she'll be spotted in hotel rooms with famous-haired tweens.  I'm getting old . . . 

Obsessions

Those of y'all who actually know me know that I'm obsessed with two Hollywood ladies.

One because she's adorable:

Seriously, what I'd give to have a kid that cute one day. I can't get enough of her. She's the prettiest little thing around, and she has an enviable wardrobe at 4 years old (yes, y'all . . . Suri turned 4 in April. Doesn't time fly)?

And one because she's grotesque:

I'm really sort of obsessed with the Cat Woman, Jocelyn Wildenstein. (Click on Cat Woman for Mayra's post that inspired me to post an homage to The Lion Queen). For a while, I was reading all up on her and poring over her life and making everyone I know look at pictures of her. She's so fascinating . . . in a terribly tragic sort of way. Did you know that she's reportedly spent 4 MILLION DOLLARS on plastic surgery? And that she asked her surgeon to make her look feline to play to her then-husband's tastes? Man oh man. I am so fixated on her that I even wrote a poem about her for my Wednesday night Cobras poetry/dinner/wine group:

Jocelyn

Bride of Wildenstein, your gaze

interrupts the sun—eyes drawn up to nowhere

some unimaginable constellation

Hercules strangled him because

Leo’s hide was unpuncturable by stone,

if you tried to think of a million ways to die—

Everything is some shade of yellow. Every day

is Tuesday. There’s a sweet synchronicity

to the way 7 o’clock exhales in surrender:

Okay, it’s over, you can rest. Lie down, sleep,

it’s all right if you die a little bit. Your skin

is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen.

The Eiffel Tower is slowly crumbling.

I swear I heard this dragonfly talking—shrillest

pitch—said her face is aglow with

radioactive heat. Please believe me—

I saw you at a café with your son. He looks at you

with a tender fear, jaundiced

in your shadow. Butterflies abuzz

swarm your head in awe. This is our landing patch.

This is our blonde mausoleum. This is

the most beautiful tragedy

That's my unedited ode to Jocelyn . . . maybe I'll have to write a whole series about her. I kind of love her. And fear her. Mostly, though, I fear her.

Happy Friday! I'm off to 21st Amendment and then to the Giants' game with my peeps--yay weekend!

Born Free

beagle puppy

baby Suri

dirty martini

These are just a few of the things I have to remind myself of in order not to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge after watching M.I.A's new video Born Free. We need to discuss this . . . have y'all seen it? I'm dying to know what other people think, as I've been obsessing over it since I watched it ( . . . okay, repeatedly) last night.

Typically, I'm a champion of anyone who is willing to talk frankly about the rampant racism and racial profiling in our country and/or confront genocide directly. Or anyone who addresses these things in his or her art. I think it takes a lot of bravery to talk about these toughest issues; issues that many people don't really like to think about. It's much less stressful to think about beagle puppies & the cutest baby ever & martinis, for sure.

M.I.A and director Romain Gavras hold nothing back in their new video. They create a dusty, violent world in which American soldiers wage a war on redheads--a seemingly arbitrary group of people based on a superficial characteristic--and transport them to a concentration-camp like desert, where several of them, including the 9 minute video's "main character," are viciously killed. Don't watch it if you don't want to be disturbed by these images . . . I kind of wanted to bleach my brain when the video ended. And then I watched it again. That's the kind of controversy this video summoned within me.

On one hand, this music video/short film seems over the top, excessively vulgar, and displays all of the wretched violence that so many of us complain exists within modern movies and video games. Upon first watching it, I thought "WTF?! This crosses every line I can think of! I'm preemptively mad at M.I.A for the nightmares I am sure to have tonight!" But then I slept on it, and I woke up this morning thinking, "How is it vulgar to showcase the kinds of violence that currently exist in our world, especially in our country, which has a history of things like the Native American slaughter, slave brutality, and the Japanese American Internment?" I mean seriously, it was only in 1942 that then President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, ordering that all Japanese Americans be taken to internment camps.

So if you've seen the video, please vote! It might help settle me down a bit to hear what other people think:

a. M.I.A is a f'ing warrior! She's amazing for bringing these issues to light. So what if it makes people uncomfortable; we need to fight against racism and genocide!

b. This video is totally grotesque and disturbing and she's deranged for having made it.

c. I can't/don't want to watch it.

d. I'm torn! She's a deranged warrior. ;)

Tell me what you think tell me what you think tell me what you think!!! And then go back and look at the pics of the puppy and baby Suri. :)

Lovelies

People who are NOT Jerkfaces:

1. My sweet friend Amanda who left a lovely, kind, generous note in my mailbox this morning. This kind of support/encouragement really makes the bad things better. I have a wall in my office at school for sweet notes/thank yous/etc. and it gets me through the day often, for realz.

2. Gaela, who helped me through my wallet crisis by calling the last place I used it/double checking my office/calming me down/etc.

3. My neighbor Leslie, who gave me toll money to get over the bridge this morning since I had no wallet/cash/debit card to get money out thanks to the Wallet Thief of March 2010! :(

4. My student CM, who brought me a large coffee yesterday morning when I was running late (even though I ended up spilling it on my white dress).

5. My family:

me, mama, and sis in mama's kitchen

me, daddy, and sis in cabo san lucas

6. Suri Cruise.

7. The Cobraz (my Wednesday poetry girls, Ali and Diana) and my far-off poetry princess, Heather (who is currently living in Chile with her husband). Did I mention I really just have the prettiest friends? In any case, thanks to them, I've been writing so much more lately and it feels gooooooood.

8. Everyone who stands up for social justice and condemns that Mississippi school's cancelation of prom as WACK HOMOPHOBIA. You know, our school is so awesome that we specifically have a clause in our "appropriate prom attire" letter that clearly states that there are no gender expectations as far as who wants to wear dresses/suits. Fortunately, I've seen all kinds of articles, facebook groups, and media attention to this story, which makes me believe that this egregious and hateful prejudice is now a regrettable anomaly and not the norm.

♥ ♥ ♥