Good weekend + sad day

Does everyone else feel a twinge of guilt when they stay home most of the weekend and watch copious amounts of tv (Saturday = Jersey Shore marathon, Sunday = NFL all day), even if you also take care of all kindsa cooking, laundry, and cleaning business?  I can't help it.  It feels so good to relax and be mellow, but I can't help but think of all the ways in which I could have been . . . adventurous.

Nonetheless, it was pretty delightful; both to allow myself the relaxation time, as well as to get a bunch of letters and packages written & ready, cook some meals for the week (broccoli quinoa casserole & "chicken" noodle soup!), do my laundry, catch up with my sweet cousin, auntie, and Summer on the phone, and straighten up the house . . . all to the sweet smell of a pumpkin spice candle!  Oh, and add "got over my fear of candles" to the list . . . I had an "incident" with a candle when I was 22 that resulted in my arm looking like this:

seven years later, aka today

But then last night came.  I went to bed at a normalish hour (12:30 or so?), and woke up suddenly around 3:30.  My phone was beside my bed, and for some reason, I immediately checked my email on my phone.  I saw that I had an email from my dear friend Marie, and strangely, I had a terrible pit in my stomach . . . Marie emails me regularly, so I don't know why I had such a bad feeling, but I guess intuition is unexplainable.  Her email said that her brother Adam (also, my high school boyfriend's brother; Marie is their sister) had died.  She was so upset in her email, and I was so shocked that I couldn't feel my legs, nor could I go back to sleep for the rest of the night.

I have so many wonderful memories of spending summers with Marie, Adam, and Lucas (and their big brother, Abe, of course).  When I was a teenager, they were like my younger brothers and sister, and I've been with them at weddings, funerals, and everything in between.  Adam was always such a sweet, sensitive boy.

So here I am, sad and zombie-like, at school today.  I told my 2nd period students what happened and to please bear with me.  Please be thinking of their family--it's gonna be a long, hard journey.