I've had pretty serious anxiety my entire life. This anxiety is exacerbated when there is serious uncertainty in:
a) MY JOB
We still don't know whether or not my job is being funded for next year, and by "next year," I mean next month! I spoke to someone in one of the San Francisco city supervisors' offices today, and she basically said that it was hopeful--that funding was more promising than they'd originally thought--but that there wouldn't be a final answer for a while. I can hardly bring myself to search for jobs when I want so badly to keep my current job, especially when I think there's a decent chance. So stressful. :(
b) MY LIVING SITUATION
My roommate is moving out at the end of the month, and I have to find a new one pronto. My apartment is way too awesome to leave.
c) ETC.
(Let's just leave it at that). :)
But here are some things I'm happy about:
1. These notecards I got in the mail from sweet Tillie:
Aren't they amazing? Maybe you'll be lucky enough to get one from me. :)
2. My marathon phone conversation with Micaela this evening. Seriously, we talked on the phone for over two hours--till her phone died--and then for another hour on g-chat. I LOVE THAT GIRL! I'm so grateful for our friendship. Micaela and I understand each other implicitly . . . without explanation, without justification, without any hesitation. Every time I talk to her, I feel like I'm experiencing a full-body sigh of relief--like I'm releasing everything I'm thinking and feeling to someone who totally understands every bit of it.
3. Skype. Today I video-chatted with my dear cousin (basically: sister) Jennifer and my auntie Pat via Skype, and I felt so close to my Georgia home. It was my first time using skype! I love it, and am so grateful for modern technology.
And here is that which I'm just not so sure about:
I always thought work out videos were for wusses . . . until The 30 Day Shred. Jillian Michaels inspires fear, loathing, disgust, and excitement within me--all at the same time! Every time she calls Anita or Natalie "buddy" in her gross, smarmy voice, I want to throw my hand weight at the television screen. But at the same time, she gives me a delicious workout in 30 minutes within the cool comfort of my own home. It's your classic love/hate relationship.